Me too!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
