Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The best revenge is premature balding
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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