I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
PANTIES FOUND
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