Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
