I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
