Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
