just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
