haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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