Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
