No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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