turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
