We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm both gender and math confused
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
