she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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