dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
