It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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