My friends, they love my intelligence
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
