is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
