the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
