weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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