yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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