every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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