that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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