it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
