I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
