I hope mine doesn't look like that
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
