I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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