More tranny stories later!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
