First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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