I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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