hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
