she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
