I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
