the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
organizing the empties. That sober.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
