Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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