I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
