Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
