I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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