at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
