Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
