We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you had me at cake vodka
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
