He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
