Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
