sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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