Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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