im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think my moral compass just broke
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
