Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im holly from the hills drunk
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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