So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
