Apparently you make a good broom.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
