Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
