idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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